One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful"

Are they in the back of a van? Are any of them old enough to drive a van?

Is their mom in the front of the van??

I know One Direction has been a thing for a while, but until today I had somehow never actually heard any of their songs, probably because I spend very little time listening to the radio when I'm not in a car, and I don't usually have a car.

But today I did, and so I was treated to hearing, for the first time, "What Makes You Beautiful".

I lived through the Original Age Of Boybands, so it's not that I can't see the appeal, in general. They appear to be good enough singers, and judging from the alarmingly shiny single cover up there, they're... well, children, but attractive in the sort of way that I can't think about it for too long without feeling uncomfortable! If you are under 20 it is probably okay to think they are hot, but I would say be under 18 to be safe. Though for all I know, they could be 20, who knows. Research? What research?

In any case, let it suffice to say that I'm not unfamiliar with the concept of boybands, so I'm not really mocking that in particular.

But this song! In case you haven't been exposed, I will share with you some of the lyrics.

You're insecure,
Don't know what for,
You're turning heads when you walk through the door,
Don't need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough

Song premise: this girl is hot but she has no idea!! I guess that's cool, that happens a lot because of the way society treats girls and women.

Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you

Maybe she's insecure because everybody's looking at her?

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful

So at this point, this appears to be a song about a dude who likes a girl, but has fundamentally misunderstood the culture that women grow up in, leading him to be extremely confused about why this girl doesn't understand she's hot. It's not like models are all photoshopped these days!! It's not like women are judged by their dress size, or sold make-up on the premise that without it they look ugly!! But okay, whatever, I guess your average 16 year old boy could miss this, maybe. I can forgive that.

If only you saw what I can see,
You'll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know--

Man if only you understood that men think you're hot, all of your self-esteem problems would go away!!

You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh oh,
That's what makes you beautiful

Wait, did he just say he thinks insecurity is hot? I-- I feel like there are conflicting themes in this song.

So c-come on,
You got it wrong,
To prove I'm right,
I put it in a song

In any case, it doesn't really matter, seeing as any song which feels it needs to state why it was written in the lyrics was doomed from the start.

Sorry, One Direction. Read an article on the way society makes money off of the insecurity of young women!! It's catchy as hell, though-- but if you want to listen to the tune, I recommend it without the lyrics.

Grade: C- (would be a D, except it did spawn that sweet cover)
Buy: Off of Amazon.
(Lyrics and album art © One Direction, who I'm sure are very nice people.)